Settling In

We are thrilled to be home. Antara is adjusting well. I am attempting to figure it all out - motherhood, work, childcare and still adovcating for the families who have yet to make it home from Nepal. I am scheduled to be on The Talk, a CBS program, scheduled for November 30 at 1 p.m. CST.

I also plan to put this blog to bed and resume writing for the Chicago Tribune's Chicago Now Portrait of Adoption blog. http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/portrait_of_an_adoption/

I will share my story and focus on helping the other families in Nepal get home.

Reschedule Interview

Welcome to motherhood. Antara came down with a horrific cough and high fever yestderday (I am blaming her cousins), so we had to cancel flying to LA for the interview on The Talk. I am hoping to reschedule when she is better so we can continue to help get the other families home.

Stay Tuned

Thank you for the wonderful homecoming. We are spending time with our family in Milwaukee before heading back to Chicago. We were invited to share our story and the plight of the families who are waiting to bring their children home on the new national show The Talk, which will air this Wednesday, Nov. 17 at 1 p.m. CST...

http://www.cbs.com/daytime/the_talk/

Welcome Home

Home Sweet Home!

http://www.wgntv.com/search/wgntv-nepal-adoption-nov8,0,1375199.story

A Night in Bangkok

We arrived in Bangkok where we have an overnight layover. I swear Antara's jaw dropped when we walked into this fabulous hotel. She danced on the king sized bed and we took a bubble bath! She went fast asleep in the gorgous crib... So, we are here until tomorrow late afternoon. I hope the flight goes as smoothly as the one today. It wasn't easy with a baby and 4 big bags, but it is amazing how some people help when needed. She slept for part of the 3 hour flight, woke up, ate and then played with a Filipino woman who does works for an NGO specializing in Maternal and Infant Care.

We were sad to leave everyone today. We said our goodbyes to DeeDee and Bina; Uma and Sharon and Shaker. We even said goodbye to Chuckie. Manoje, our driver, took us to the airprot. He gave Anu a beautiful crocheted blanket that his wife made for her. DeeDee and Bina and Uma all saw us off. We said our goodbyes and are now making the long journey home.

Saying Goodbye

It is hard to say goodbye after all these months. While i am so excited to be heading home, I am sad to leave the others behind and the family we have developed here. I feel hopeful they will be home soon. The last few days have been hectic running from Embassy to Embassy attempting to get all our paperwork in place. I then headed over to the Thai Air offices to ensure our airline tickets were confirmed. The guy at the ticket counter informed me that Antara’s seat was in the premium class and I was in economy class. Not sure who they thought would take care of her  Let’s hope they can upgrade me.

I, of course, have had to get all my last minute shopping in. I found a Tibetan rug that I will somehow manage to carry home in my suitcase. I have dumped basically all my clothes. I had hoped to burn them when I got back, but am giving them away. I can say that I have worn the same flipflops for about three months. As DeeDee pointed out today when she was going through some of her clothes “you know your clothes suck when the woman who massages you and lives in a hut doesn’t even want them”.

We had a going away dinner last night at a traditional Nepali restaurant called Nepali Chulo. There were sippy cups and wine. It was Emma and Sujon; Vicki and Nima; Cherie and Maya and DeeDee and Bina. The girls loved the singing and dancing. We will miss everyone. DeeDee and Bina are family. Antara and Bina act like sisters and it will be sad for them to leave one another.

But we are absolutely thrilled to be heading home . We leave Kathmandu tomorrow, have an overnight layover in Bangkok and arrive in Chicago Saturday.

Oh by the way, it’s true.. first loves never die. We gave Bina a beautiful doll from the US, but Chuckie is her true love and really the only doll Bina still loves dearly.

Life is Good

I am looking at a photo copy of Antara’s visa in my hands. No, I don’t have the actual visa because it is fixed into her one way passport to the U.S. where we are headed on Thurs.!! I don’t have the original document because I spent half the day in the Thailand Embassy getting Antara a Thai visa so we can spend the night in Bangkok. I will pick it up tomorrow and we should be all set.

I spent the second half of today getting to the US Embassy where I picked up Antara’s birth certificate!

We should be on our way to Chicago Thursday!

Antara is looking at a bug on the floor.

Life is Good!

Aama

My mom retired from her job as a school psychologist and traveled with me to Nepal. She left after a month to take care of my siblings. Last night I received this poem that she wrote for me. It came unexpected and means the world to me. Thank you mom. I couldn't have done it without you.


Aama
(You Can Call Her Mother)

She searched the world for you
And climbed mountains

She took the rough road
And carried you all the way

She fought battles for you
And talked to kings and princes

She prayed and made offerings for you
And learned your ways

She held your hand for your first steps
And taught you your first words

She made loving friends for you
And they will stay by your side forever

She is Aama
And you can call her mother



Love Mom

Our Last Days

I am in a frantic state attempting to get home. My visa expires this week so I had to get an extension just in case Antara’s birth certificate doesn’t get here this week. I am also attempting to do the last minute shopping that I have put off. Our friend, Jim, came back to KTM. He heard about the news that we get to go home and offered to bring the same bag he brought here home! Fabulous as I will be traveling back home through Bangkok alone with Antara. I also learned that I have an overnight layover in Bangkok now as they have changed the flight schedule and we can no longer catch a flight the same day we arrive. So I will be alone, with a baby and many bags. I am not complaining at this point.

Here are a few shots of the kids. We are trying to explain that Auntie and Antara are leaving for the United States. We take our morning walk around a circular path at the local temple. As you can see the streets are really tough with the stroller.

Chicago Tribune Article

Chicago Tribune

In Katmandu, adoptive mom clears biggest hurdle to her return to Chicago
Warltier case is approved

Candice Warltier and her daughter, Antara, have been stranded in Nepal for nearly three months because of a change in adoption rules. (October 27, 2010)

Migration By Andrew L. Wang, Tribune reporter

October 30, 2010
E-mail Print Share Text Size ct-met-nepal-adoption-20101030
When Candice Warltier landed in Katmandu almost three months ago, she expected to be there only a short time as she tied up loose ends to finish her adoption a chubby-cheeked 1-year-old named Antara.

As it turned out, the Chicago woman stayed much longer, held up by an investigation by the U.S. State Department, which recently had changed its policy toward adoptions from Nepal.

But on Thursday, U.S. embassy officials in Katmandu gave Warltier the happy news. The investigation was done, and she and Antara could leave the country.

"My daughter and I are coming home," she said in an interview from her apartment in Katmandu.


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By the time she arrived on Aug. 7, Warltier had spent a year and a half working through the bureaucratic requirements of the adoption.

But because of a change in U.S. immigration policy while Warltier was en route, Antara couldn't be granted a visa to leave the country without further U.S. investigation. Nepal's adoption system has been plagued by abuse — kidnappings, fake documents — and the U.S. government changed its procedures, hoping to make sure abandoned children really were abandoned before being adopted.

Warltier, who writes a blog on the Tribune's ChicagoNow network and whose story was the subject of a Tribune column last month, was sure that Antara had been abandoned. Her daughter had lived at an orphanage since she was days old and no one had visited her, the girl's caretakers had told her.

They lived in a hotel until the cumulative expenses got to be too much, then moved into an apartment with a woman from Boston and her 4-year-old daughter, who were in the same predicament, Warltier said.

Five other U.S. families remained in limbo over Nepal adoptions, including two other families from Illinois. Warltier's file was the first approved among their group.

A spokeswoman for the U.S. State Department's Bureau of Consular Affairs declined to comment on individual cases but said that officials from the State Department and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services had been dispatched to Nepal to expedite the investigations needed for visas to be approved.

Warltier said the families have built a close bond with one another during their time in the Himalayan capital, learning together about their children's native land and culture. Warltier said her happiness was tempered, knowing that the other families' wait would continue.

"I don't know why mine was approved and others haven't (been)," she said. "They may see this as hope that more files will be approved."

Mother and daughter weren't home-free yet, however. Warltier won't receive her visa until next week, and she must wait for the girl's original birth certificate to be mailed back to her from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office in New Delhi.

She isn't certain how long the remaining steps will take, though at a meeting Thursday with embassy officials, Warltier gave them a deadline.

"I told them, 'I have a flight booked for Nov. 4. I really want to be on that flight.'"

alwang@tribune.com

Our Last Night at the Summit

We had our last night at the Summit tonight. DeeDee and Bina; Vicki and Nima and a few other families toasted to us returning to the U.S. We will miss everyone and will work hard to bring the others home soon. Antara has her Namaste down, but does a great high five. She'll fit in perfectly. It is going to be hard for her to leave Bina and also Manoj, our driver!!!!

A close friend of our family's is a pastor and very spirtual man. He married my sister. He wrote this for Antara.

I do not know where this came from, but I always trust the Muses, be strong Candy and Antara, the moment! have a good day

This moment, all we have…

I am thinking this early morn
Of Nepal, a beautiful place,
Mountains, valley's and strong people…

Antara, you are sleeping now
A new day will soon arrive

Someday you and your mom will know
These days of being uncertain, waiting
Will create a relationship like nothing else can.

It is the moment
Not the past, the past is gone, for ever

It is not the future,
Simply, it has not happened yet…

The moment
It’s all in the moment
This one, not that one you wished for…

Illusions and attachments fool us don't they,
Someday Antara you will understand and you will say,
Mommy this is what was to happen

What a day
What a moment
What a place
Where else can we be?

Peace

WE ARE COMING HOME

This all happened within the last 24 hours and I haven't had time to digest it all. I just received a call from a reporter who posted this. I know many people just emailed saying they saw the article and wondering what is going on. I'll email details later.

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/10/candice-warltier-nepal-chicago-kathmandu-adoption.html


.Chicago woman gets OK to bring Nepali daughter home
October 28, 2010 11:23 AM | No Comments | UPDATED STORY

Candice Warltier and her daughter, Antara, have been stranded in Nepal because of a change in adoption rules. (Family photo)


When Candice Warltier landed in Katmandu almost three months ago, she only expected to be there a short time as she tied up loose ends on the process to adopt a chubby-cheeked 1-year-old named Antara.

As it turned out, the Chicago woman stayed much longer, held up by an investigation by the U.S. State Department, which had recently changed its policy toward adoptions from Nepal.


But today U.S. embassy officials in Katmandu gave her the happy news. The investigation was done, and they could return home to Chicago.


"My daughter and I are coming home," she said in an interview from her apartment in Katmandu.

By the time she arrived on Aug. 7, Warltier had already spent a year and a half working through the bureaucratic requirements of the adoption.


But because of a change in U.S. immigration policy while Warltier was in route, Antara couldn't be granted a visa to leave the country without further U.S. investigation. Nepal's adoption system has been plagued by abuse -- kidnappings, fake documents -- and while she was en route, the U.S. government changed its procedures, hoping to make sure abandoned children really were abandoned.


Warltier, whose story was the subject of a Tribune column last month, had done her own research and was sure that Antara had been abandoned. Her daughter lived at an orphanage for since she was days old and no one had visited her, the girl's caretakers had told her.

They lived in a hotel until the cumulative expense got to be too much and then moved into an apartment with a woman from Boston and her 4-year-old daughter, who were in the same predicament, Warltier said.

Five other U.S. families were in the same limbo over Nepal adoptions, including two other families from Illinois. Warltier's file was the first approved among their group.


The families have built a close bond with each other in their time in the Himalayan capital, learning together about their children's native land and culture, and Warltier said her happiness was tempered, knowing that the other families wait would continue.

"I don't know why mine was approved and others haven't," she said. "They may see this as hope that more files will be approved."

Mother and daughter aren't home-free yet, however. Antara's visa still must be approved, and Warltier must wait for the girl's original birth certificate to be mailed back to her from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office in New Delhi.

She isn't certain how long the remaining steps will take, though at a meeting today with embassy officials, Warltier gave them a deadline.

"I told them, 'I have a flight booked for Nov. 4. I really want to be on that flight."

-- Andrew L. Wang

DiDi

It’s been nearly three months now since we arrived in Kathmandu. I had planned to take a month or so off work and then ease back into it when I got home. After about a month here I slowly began working. I have amazing colleagues who are managing clients from home, but wanted to get more involved. So, I decided to look for a DiDi or babysitter. I received a recommendation from a US family who is here doing missionary work. Manisha, 18, is in college and speaks very good English. I “interviewed” her thinking it felt very odd to be looking for child care in Nepal, but I needed some focused time for work and the occasional workout, which is very much a distant memory at this point.

Antara really loves spending time with Manisha who comes three afternoons a week. I am here most of the time.The first time I actually left her alone with Manisha was to volunteer for the Buddhist nuns. I am giving them a tutorial in how they can obtain their own media coverage. I left and actually felt funny that I felt okay leaving..not anxious. About three hours into the the marketing tutorial, I panicked, excused myself and called Manisha. She answered her cell and I said “is everything with Antara ok?” She replied “of course”. All I kept thinking was I am in a foreign country with a newly adopted baby and left her with a teenage girl. Anu was fine.

Since then Manisha invited us to her home for dinner. Antara and I asked Manoje, our driver/friend/helper, to drive us. It took over an hour. I was amazed that Manisha came so far to babysit. There aren’t many American teenage girls with that kind of drive. We arrived at her two room apartment where she lives with her mother, sister and younger brother. Her father had to leave Nepal to find work as a cook. People cannot get jobs here. They all sleep in one room and the other is for eating with a small kitchen. Her mother is a cook for an expat family who is living in Kathmandu.

Manisha’s family is lovely and welcomed us into their home as if we were family. They sat us down in the small room and made us feel completely at ease. Anu was not herself when we arrived and became very shy. This lasted for about 15 minutes and then she was the life of the party. Her mother cooked a traditional meal of chicken with Dhal Bhat. Anu had her first slice of chocolate cake for desert and absolutely loved it! She is just like her mom.

I believe Manisha helps support her family with the babysitting money. I have a whole new respect for her, how hard she works and how proud she is of her family. She was so excited for me to come to dinner.

Uma, our in country adoption agency rep, stopped by to say hello yesterday. She brought another package from a sweet friend who sent us chocolate and magazines!

Anu had so much fun with Uma and just cracked up putting this stacking ring on her head, over and over and over again.

It was Fri night so we headed over to the Summit hotel where we met our friend at the weekly BBQ. It truly is an escape away from everything. Unfortunately, we learned that many families have begun to receive the RFEs (Request for more Evidence) from USCIS in Delhi. What this means is that now it is up to the parent (or attorney if you have hired one) to come up with additional evidence to support the child is an orphan. My file went to Delhi more than a month ago and I have heard nothing from USCIS. I am still waiting... each day more and more nervous to open email. I guess there is still that glimmer of hope that the email will be an invitation to pick up her visa.